My story involves a very close (and large) family with a French Catholic background. Although there were a lot of moments growing up that led me to be who I am today, there were a few people that really made an impact on my life and I owe them my eternal gratitude.
Turning Point
For a while I’ve known a very important turning point in my life was finally deciding to be with my boyfriend, Ricky. We had known each other since middle school and even dated a couple of times when we were younger, but it was really during my sophomore year in high school that changed a lot of what was happening in my life. Ricky finally broke up with a girl he had hated for a long time and then tried to prove himself to me in order for us to get back together. I made him wait a while before actually accepting his offer (a few months to be more specific). Although it seems like I didn’t want to be with him, it was really the opposite and I was just scared of the journey on which I was about to embark with him. Once I said yes to becoming his girlfriend on January 12, 2008, my journey to happiness began.
In the years prior I had been very depressed because I felt very alone in both romance and friendship. Every day I dreaded going to school and felt reluctant to hang out with anyone, even on the weekends because I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere and no one accepted me for who I was. My “best friend” at the time was a very controlling and drama-involved. I had only become friends with her through another girl, but since we went to different high schools now it became just the two of us left to be best friends. I always felt like I was walking in her shadow. Everyone liked her and thought she was fun and cool and they accepted me because I was her friend, but I was never asked to hang out by anyone except her. My freshman year was a blur of hanging out with this girl I hated and who made me miserable (but included me) and a couple of people I met in my English class. One of these was a guy that I fell for, pretty hard. I knew he saw me as just a friend, but I had a really big crush on him. He was funny and sweet and always there for me. But, my heart got broken when I found out he liked my older sister. I sunk into an even deeper depression: I had a broken heart, a best friend I hated, and no one else to talk to about it, all of this while trying to deal with passing high school. All I could do was hope for change.
When I found out Ricky had broken up with that other girl and was willing to make it work with me, I felt that glimmer of hope coming back. We got together and everything changed. The girl I hated was constantly mad that I was spending more time with him than with her. Eventually, after about a hundred fights, we went our separate ways. Luckily, a girl that I had also gone to school with forever rode the bus with me. We started talking more and realized that we should have been better friends all along. She and I were always having a great time and she actually treated me like a human being, as an equal, not a shadow. She helped me get some of my confidence back and make me feel like I could meet new friends and survive high school. Ricky gave me someone to talk to, about everything. He was not only my boyfriend, but my best friend as well. Although I now had a female friend I could trust and talk to, Ricky was even closer and had a special place in my heart (and still does). After I started dating him for the “final” time, I came out of my shell and my depression; I started to feel like myself again and could just be me. He continues to make me smile every day and makes me feel normal even when I’m being weird. He’s the person I go to for everything and the person I trust the most. I can’t wait for the rest of our lives together 🙂
Interview of My Mom
Name: Lorelei Webber (Lori)
What do you remember the most about when you were growing up?
I remember how quiet it was. We lived on a dead-end street, no traffic or worrying about being stolen. Well, my parents did, but not the children.
Was there anything about your parents that you specifically remember (a habit, a phrase, an article of clothing, etc.)?
Dad used to wear horrible, gaudy plaid pants and when people asked him a “nosy” question, he always used to say “whattya wanna know Sara?” because he didn’t like nosy people.
Mom just said (and still says) things backwards because she is French. She always drank coffee black. Gave up smoking for lent and realized that she didn’t need to smoke because she could give it up so easily. She just thought “what’s the point?”.
Did you ever worry about money because you had so many brothers and sisters?
We didn’t know we didn’t have money. I didn’t realize until I was older that we were on a government subsides plan. We got food that has the plain black and white labels like you saw on old t.v. shows as a part of the government program. Ones I remember specifically were the big jars of peanut butter and huge cheese hunks. It all tasted horrible but it was the only thing we had. Grammie used to buy puffed wheat and puffed rice in gigantic bags. Dad went to bread store a lot. He went to J.J. Nissan, the one I went to myself before it went out of business. So, I guess I carried on the tradition.
Do you know how the tradition of meatpie making started? Does Grammie? Did you ever write down the recipe?
It started with your great-grandmother and it carried on with my mom and Germaine (her aunt). We would go to midnight mass and come home, just like we always do. But, we would go while the meatpies were cooking in the over so that they were hot after mass. Then we ate them with eggnog and wine for the adults. It was our Christmas tradition. We still make them between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but it’s not always the same time every year. I actually wrote it down for your cousin Luke this year, but it had never written before. Up until three years ago, I didn’t even know the meat recipe. I always did the crust and the rolling part and your grandmother would take care of the meat mixture. But, the last two years (after she told me how to make it), I actually made the meat at Grammie’s house.
Was there anyone who really made an impact on your life before dad?
Aunt Germaine. She came out of the convent to live at old house, around 1968, when I was 7 or 8 years old. She lived with us even until we moved into the new house. Since she worked with kids all the time she got kind of bitter. We called her the sarge because she barked out orders like sergeant in the army. She thought leaving your stuff on the floor was a nasty habit, but she had a way of solving it: I’m gonna tell you once to put it away or I’m going to hide it. Hid uncle mark’s backpack in wood box, cushion on top to cover. Only warning, make sure to put stuff away. Always been there for them, an ear to bend “I hate my parents” when you need to vent. Didn’t always give the best advice but always there.
When you decided to have kids, did the idea of continuing a large family come into play or was it your own choice?
Originally wanted 6, dad 4. Finances, not terribly old, but deliveries got harder and harder. So traumatic, what will happen next time. Health and safety, don’t want another one. Whatever we get we get, everybody today will know what they have, didn’t ever know sex of baby. Two days before did sonogram, sucking thumb, curled up in ball, can’t tell sex of baby. Wouldn’ve been nice to just know.
How do you think your heritage affects your life and how you grew up?
Think heritage, of being lg French catholic family came from working stock. Not rich, held faith close, helped each other out, cared for each other, loved. Followed on through years, can’t function as lg family without discipline and hard-working. Don’t consider kids lazy.
Hear about kids today who don’t have chores, how can they learn responsibility when just given things and don’t work for it. Hear gram stories of parents and how they struggled.
At times was difficult, kept chugging along. Not saying poor me, I can’t work, work hard to make ends meet.
