This section is not written in this font, only the title, as well as the book cover’s title and the chapter headlines.The font for the section on Manimals.
One thought on “Triglione Full Draft”
Your parchment pages match your story. I’m still not sure why you need many different fonts–though I see each story has a different narrator. I’d like to see some framing font, or way they are related to each other. It’s a small but irritating technicality.
“He asked me to write his accomplishments and contributions to mankind”
This line helps make sense of the narrative–it’s more telling than showing, but as an account of the Archangel’s journey written by the Magister, it has a certain logic.
“Even a temple was erected within my walls, run by a man calling himself the “last master”
This is the sentence where i finally see the link between the characters in the books and the Archangel’s story–at this point I’m guessing there will be a consequence of the “magic” …
““I don’t know what happened to the world when I was a child, but it was not like this before. My father talked… ” is this narrative cut off??
I’d like a clearer link between the hunan kings–the whole line of them–and the Archangel’s legacy. I see magic appear toward the end and become linked to Dimitris death, but I don’t see the archangel’s plot as linked to this story in a way I can understand. Was the magic a curse? did it lead to the human wars? to the loss of a farm livelihood for Daxmond. Do these kinds or their people ever figure out the mystery of the magicians? do the magicians ever help the humans? or is the magic a curse?
If archangel said he’d return why doesn’t he? what happens to magic when Domanic dies?
“he goes on a warpath to destroy his tainted legacy” what does this mean? if his legacy is war how does more war destroy it?
lots of unanswered questions, but this does suggest you’ve created a compelling world and one that I want to leaner more about.
By the way I encountered no women in these worlds/times and you use “Man” as your generic term rather than humans. So are there no women? Are manimals a way to avoid sexual procreation? what is the women’s role? do they have a connection to magic? is archangel sexed?
Your parchment pages match your story. I’m still not sure why you need many different fonts–though I see each story has a different narrator. I’d like to see some framing font, or way they are related to each other. It’s a small but irritating technicality.
“He asked me to write his accomplishments and contributions to mankind”
This line helps make sense of the narrative–it’s more telling than showing, but as an account of the Archangel’s journey written by the Magister, it has a certain logic.
“Even a temple was erected within my walls, run by a man calling himself the “last master”
This is the sentence where i finally see the link between the characters in the books and the Archangel’s story–at this point I’m guessing there will be a consequence of the “magic” …
““I don’t know what happened to the world when I was a child, but it was not like this before. My father talked… ” is this narrative cut off??
I’d like a clearer link between the hunan kings–the whole line of them–and the Archangel’s legacy. I see magic appear toward the end and become linked to Dimitris death, but I don’t see the archangel’s plot as linked to this story in a way I can understand. Was the magic a curse? did it lead to the human wars? to the loss of a farm livelihood for Daxmond. Do these kinds or their people ever figure out the mystery of the magicians? do the magicians ever help the humans? or is the magic a curse?
If archangel said he’d return why doesn’t he? what happens to magic when Domanic dies?
“he goes on a warpath to destroy his tainted legacy” what does this mean? if his legacy is war how does more war destroy it?
lots of unanswered questions, but this does suggest you’ve created a compelling world and one that I want to leaner more about.
By the way I encountered no women in these worlds/times and you use “Man” as your generic term rather than humans. So are there no women? Are manimals a way to avoid sexual procreation? what is the women’s role? do they have a connection to magic? is archangel sexed?
Intriguing world–lots of possibilities.