It had been over a month since Jeff had been laid off from his job at an office. The first week he submitted applications at just about every office building in the city. He had always thought of himself as a resourceful person, and had always managed to get by. However by the second week Jeff started to get nervous, not having heard back from a single office. His pride holding him back from applying to any other type of job. He had gone to a business school and gotten a bachelor’s degree, and if he applied for a job elsewhere it would seem like the debt he had accumulated would have been for naught. Alas, by the third week he swallowed his pride, to prevent his rapidly declining savings from disappearing. He applied to every gas station, and store in his area. But it was in vain, over the next week he got no replies.
Jeff was a quiet person, and nothing about him stood out. Most days he wore a plain dark t-shirt, and a worn out faded pair of jeans. To most people he was invisible, a fly on the wall wherever he went.
While walking home from another unsuccessful day of job hunting he ran into his neighbor John.
“How are you Jeff?” John asked.
“Not so great, haven’t had any luck finding a job yet.” Jeff replied.
“Sorry to hear that, what kind of job are you looking for?” John asked.
“Anything, I just need something.”
“Well, I am actually moving back to Illinois, and I can’t take my hot dog stand with me. Would you want to buy it?”
“I don’t know John, I wouldn’t know where to start.”
“I still have a few days till I am leaving, why don’t you come with me over the next few days, and see if you like it.”
“I guess it couldn’t hurt.”
“Wonderful, I’ll even get us both lunch.”
“Thanks, I’ll see you in the morning.”
It was just before dawn when Jeff woke up. He groggily rolled over, got up, and slowly walked towards the two small windows in his one room apartment. He pulled up the shade, letting in the dim glow of the streetlights into the room, and gazed out into the city. He wasn’t really looking forward to shadowing John for a few days, but he didn’t have anything better to do. He smiled, it was the first decent thing to happen to him in the past few weeks. His thoughts interrupted by Johns knock at the door.
“Let’s go, we need to get set up in the next hour.” John said.
“Be right there.” Jeff replied.
The two headed down the stairs with a few coolers of hot dogs and sodas John had prepared, and loaded up the stand locked to the side of the building. Within minutes the two were on their way rolling the stand towards their destination.
“I have a few different spots I like to head to every day, based off of when the offices in town have their lunch hours.” John said. “The first stop is just around the corner.”
They continued their walk, and as they turned the corner Jeff heart began to pound. The first spot was just at the corner of the office he had been laid off from. He watched as his ex-coworkers walked in and out of the building. This was humiliating for him, he had already gotten here with John, he couldn’t back out now.
I dig the irony here.
Definitely a lot to be explored in regards to self-worth and employment.
Maybe elaborate on the reasons Jeff couldn’t find work i.e. typical corporate responses: “we aren’t looking to fill positions,” “you’re underqualified,” “you’re overqualified,” “the school your diploma is from didn’t impress us,” etc.
Although the total lack of responses lends a nice, faceless villainy to it
I like the full circle of your story. It’s really interesting that he goes from being laid off at his job to beginning in society’s mind, a lesser career path, but the first stop on his route is the building and life that haunts him. The story also moves along at a good pace, as a month goes by in the beginning. I thought the piece towards the end where it goes into his inner thoughts as he looks out over the city in the morning was really strong, and perhaps including a few more reflection pieces like this could help as well!
I have a few suggestions that would make the story a bit stronger. In the first paragraph, I would also be more specific in “the first week”, so maybe including something like “In the first week of grappling with being laid off” or something like that, just so it gives a slightly better flow. Also, perhaps coming up with a fictional names for his former job, instead of saying “at an office” or the business school he attended. In the last few sentences, I would also change “ex-coworkers” to “former coworkers”, so it flows better.
I think this is a really good start! I’d be interested to see where the story goes if you decide to continue it. For instance, what if a former coworker or his former boss comes to his hot dog stand and he is confronted face to face with his past? There’s a lot of ways this could go, but nice job!
Yup I second Katie’s last statement–for me the story really begin at the end:
The first spot was just at the corner of the office he had been laid off from. He watched as his ex-coworkers walked in and out of the building. This was humiliating for him, he had already gotten here with John, he couldn’t back out now.
This is where the tension between the two worlds collides in Jeff, and his relationship to Johnny also be strained.
SHOWING this clash –meeting fellow co-workers, having John endure some slights, this could reveal the issues all the characters have with the economic tension.
This is right at the center of Trump supporters…understanding the difficulty of Jeff’s situation and John’s, and that of his former office workers.
I would definitely like to see what comes next… (though I do appreciate the full circle) As for names–use the opportunity to get creative: His office could be: Widgets Galore, or Dead River Company –I always shudder at that name…and coworker’s names.?